July 7, 2010

My Husband Hugh, Night 16, CCU, and Having a Set Back.

Keeping this short as I have had I think the most exhausting day since the first 2 days of his accident.

Hugh's diaphragm is pushed up. Dr. Levin (the head pulmonary doctor) ordered a CT of Hugh's upper body to see why it's pushed up. He will read it in the morning. Dr. Levin told me it could be a paralyzed diaphragm or a blood clot, or something else. If the CT scan shows what it is, he'll know of course. If not, it sounds like he will do a Bronchoscopy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronchoscopy to further investigate and to clean out his bronchial area. Forgive me, as I am tired and this is how I'm understanding it all.

Hugh is also suffering terribly from delusions from the meds, also known as ICU Psychosis as the nurse said. He is extremely paranoid and expresses to me he is afraid of perhaps dying, and other horrible delusions. He see's a man who is in his image who is trying to take me away, and I have to keep telling him it's a delusion, and this reassures him. If I leave the room, he gets himself in a panic and it breaks my heart. You wouldn't know he is panicking, but I can tell, I can see it in his eyes. This is breaking my heart as I know he is scared. He keeps looking up in the left hand corner of his room and sees this man in his image and it's scaring his so bad. This is hurting me so bad ... I can't stop crying as I write this.

My darling Hugh,
I tried to comfort you so badly today. I never left your side except to grab some lunch and have a bath room break. I want you to know, I love you so much, and you won't lose me. You are so afraid sweetheart, but rest assured, I'm yours forever. I just wanted to crawl up next to you and comfort you so bad. I promise you, I will forever look after you and never let you down. My heart is breaking Hugh, and I need you better to help me. Please sweetheart, I can't bear much more... I love you forever.
If you are so inclined to help with Hugh's medical expenses and our mounting bills, you can donate to us by clicking the yellow donate button:

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