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The little cartoon is what it's like when people THINK they are being "helpful" to us who suffer with a chronic illness. If you don't get the cartoon, then carry on. Be gone. I don't want to know you. On a non-sick day, a person with a chronic illness might not necessarily appear "sick". Confusing some people (even loved ones!) around them to assume that they’re not. Unfortunately, living with Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Lupus, or any chronic and often time "invisible illness", means we are always ill, some days are just better than others.
These horrid chronic illnesses have a peculiar way of tricking these people, which through the last few years and the MANY of downright, mean, ignorant and just RUDE comments are going to enlighten you.
Here are some comments that make me want to pluck my eyes out...with a rusty nail. For the LOVE OF MIKEY...Please do NOT repeat these, say these, think these to anyone that you know who suffers with a chronic illness.
Like, never. Did I say EVER?
“You should really think about how lucky you are, a lot of people have it worse than you.”Yes, that's right
fuckface a lot of people have it worse than me. But do ya think that someone who has fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Lupus, or any other "invisible illness" is lucky? Is someone say, with Lupus really “lucky” when they are on a waiting list for a kidney transplant? Oh! They are so lucky that they get chemo every day, or when a stroke hits them, leaving them bedridden. How lucky!
Or when someone like myself, who suffers with severe chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, am I lucky? That when I am so fatigued I can all but crawl out of bed just to make it in time for the toilet. Or hey! How about the luxury of enjoying a shower and having the water spray down on my skin is long gone, unless you want to peel me off the floor from the pain of the water touching my skin. I'm so lucky, wow. Lucky, that some days, it's all I can do is lift my head from the pillow to sip off my water to take my regime of medications. Lucky I say. Wow, how lucky we are! Lucky, that I want to work so badly, but can barely sit up long enough and when I do, I get into a deep "fog" that I cannot concentrate on what I am doing, and by then so fatigued, I have to go lie back down on the bed or sofa. I am so lucky!!! I have had to remove friends that wear me out. I have lost friends because I have been mean. I'm so lucky!
We are the ones living with theses illnesses every day so please don’t compare our battle to others. And, I beg you, please don’t tell us how to feel, because if we feel anything, “lucky” isn’t the first term that comes to mind.
"My greatgreatgreat grandmother beat cancer! If she can beat it, you can beat this!"Sure, I will tell my doctor that on my next visit. Thank you! I am so lucky I know I will beat this! Thank you for that reminder!
“You need to get out more and exercise, you are just depressed, not sick.”Me....that's right asshole, smacking head! Now why didn't I think of that! I'm only depressed! Wow! You mean my team of doctors had it wrong all along? You mean if I only exercised my fatigue will go away. Wow! I didn't know that. Thank you very much asswipe.
“You’re just being anti-social. You need to think and be more positive. Why are you always canceling our plans?”Me...yep, friends like you, who needs enemies? (By the way, this was told to me by someone whose sister has fibromyalgia), that is ONLY the tip of the iceberg too.
For the love of God, do not patronize someone who is chronically ill. Talking down to a person with a chronic illness is not only hurtful, but also downright rude. Would you say this to someone with say...cancer?
As much as I appreciate and admire your Wiki or Web MD research credentials, or your QVC cure-all vitamin that cured your "tiredness", please know, I am pretty damn sure my doctors and I have a good handle on the situation.
The fact is, almost every person I have met with Fibro, CFS, Lupus (RA, MS, etc.) has literally devoted hundreds, if not thousands, of hours of their life researching their medical options, alternative therapies, supplements, etc. Please don’t be condescending or act like we have never tried anything to help ourselves. Most of my waking hours are spent contemplating what else I can do to try to get rid of this dreadful disease. And sometimes it is all I can do is pray that I do not wake up the next day.
And then here is one I just love... “I would kill to sleep all day.” Me...Ok, shoot me now. Please. Seriously, if I had a fucking penny...